Rants and raves from around the celebrosphere

OK, you have no doubt been bombarded with the incredible news that Beverly Hills 90210 is coming back, and we know you check the ‘net daily to make sure you don’t miss out on any of the dramatic updates on who is and is not going to be on the show. The new show has consistently been one of the top searches for Web sites all over for months now.

We are wondering……WHY???

The show first aired on the Fox network in 1990. From the beginning, it was inane, condescending, and pure cheese. The story of twins Brenda and Brandon Walsh trying to fit into the California landscape turned into a weekly preaching session, warning teenagers of the dangers of drugs, sex, alcohol, celebrity, not studying for tests, exceeding the speed limit, not paying taxes, ignoring expiration dates on your milk carton, running out of hair product….you get the idea.

Luckily, Brandon was always there to take the car keys away from anyone who was too upset about their teen years to drive safely.

As the years went on, the show did not get any better. It turned from morality lessons to a soap opera atmosphere that tried to be scandalous but was woefully inferior to its more successful spinoff, Melrose Place, in the sleaze department.

The actors and characters were SO bad and SO annoying that people still make fun of them today.

For being such a phenomenon, the ratings consistently sucked, never even reaching the top 20 once during its ten-year run.

So we ask…why why why are people so interested in a new generation of 90210??? Not only will there be a whole new cast of talentless teenage actors, but we are going to be subjected to Shannon Doherty, Tori Spelling, and Jennie Garth as their annoying, vapid, bratty little characters all over again. Now the rumors are that Ian Ziering and Jason Priestly are next on the list to possibly return.

I guess now we will have to revise the popular saying…”After a nuclear war, all that will be left are cockroaches and Cher”…”And Brandon, and Brenda, and Dylan, and Kelly, and the Peach Pit, and invaluable life lessons, and…”