Rants and raves from around the celebrosphere

Tell us it’s not so! If there was ever a celebrity marriage that we had faith would last until the bitter end, it was the union of Star Jones and her ruggedly masculine beau Al Reynolds. For anyone who needs a quick recap, Star made sure everyone (including remote tribes in the Amazon jungle) recieved a daily update regarding her nuptials on her talk show The View. That is, until she made half of America barf and her cohosts booted her off the show altogether.

The wedding consisted of a list of corporate sponsors who donated gowns, cakes, and other wedding merchandise (because Star was too broke to afford it?) in exchange for shameless plugs on her Web site. There were three matrons of honor, 12 bridesmaids, two junior bridesmaids, three “best” men, 12 groomsmen (that’s “groomsmen”, not men for the groom), three junior groomsmen (again, that’s their title, not what they do), six footmen (we won’t even go there), four ring bearers and four flower girls. We still have no confirmation of any Chippendales dancers or drag queens in attendance. With such a classy, tasteful ceremony, how in the world could a “fairy” tale like this ever fall apart?

After three years of marriage, however, Star filed for divorce last month. What could have happened? And how can we possibly not lose faith in true love now?

Maybe Al doesn’t like his….women to be too thin, as Star dropped a person or two after gastric bypass surgery (”oh no, there was no surgery, just fewer twinkies”). With less girth to hold on to, maybe Al just couldn’t keep his grip on a more…conventional relationship. Or maybe Star just lives up to the reputation she has for a sparkling personality, and he was too intimidated by such an angel.

Or maybe he just still holds a grudge after three years for not being able to design the wedding gown himself.