Rants and raves from around the celebrosphere

“PEEEEEEOPLLLLLLLLLLE! We have a SCANNNNNDALLLLLLLLL!!!!!”

Kathie Lee Gifford, move over. Michael Jackson, step aside. We have a new celebrity leading the charge in children’s advocacy.

It seems that a school for disadvantaged girls that Oprah Winfrey opened in South Africa decided to add some hands-on instruction to the curriculum.

In a trial that kicked off on July 28, former dormitory matron Tiny Virginia Makopo stands accused of inflicting “indecent assault, assault, and criminal injury.” Six teenage students allegedly were abused over the course of four months. While the details of the abuse have not yet been made public, it appears that all six young girls will testify against the school and Makopo.

Oprah has apologized to parents and has promised an “overhaul of the school.”

An overhaul? The school just opened in January of 2007! You expect us to believe that an ideal haven for needy children degenerated into Prisoner: Cell Block H in only a year-and-a-half?!?

Oprah, a victim of child abuse herself, needs to wake up and smell the coffee. She is already a walking punchline. We think she needs to get support calls from Kathie Lee Gifford and Michael Jackson, who can give her invaluable advice on how to handle a child scandal. Nothing hurts a career faster than the thought of an innocent child being thrown around like a rag doll or working 23 hours a day naked in a sweat shop.

We also have to wonder. What exactly did the kids do to be abused? Our guess is watching Dr. Phil instead of Oprah. Or maybe they were overheard making fun of Oprah gal-pal Gail.

“Oprah gal-pal Gail”. Try saying that three times fast.