Rants and raves from around the celebrosphere

We were shocked to learn that singing sensation Enrique Iglesias has gone public with a very personal problem. After dating girlfriend Anna Kournikova for three years, she is refusing to marry him!

Huh?

To the confusion of millions of women who would jump at the chance to be with him, and millions of men who want to BE him, Iglesias has told the press that he has repeatedly popped the question to Kournikova, stating that she “pays him no attention”. He is, however, staying with her.

Of course, we understand that since Iglesias is not especially handsome, sexy, well-known or rich, he might be prone to think he can’t do any better and settle for an indifferent girlfriend. COME ON Enrique…there are women in droves who are just begging for the opportunity to sniff your concert wardrobes…it is your responsibility to snag yourself a wife who appreciates what she has. We couldn’t rule out a dangerous gang of bitter and spurned female fans rioting the concerts just to get their hands on Kournikova. Not to mention the fact that his father, the suave Latin sex icon Julio Iglesias, is probably livid with his son’s wimpy approach to his manhood…someone with the Iglesias name being rejected by a woman? What is the world coming to?

Be careful, Enrique, or the next sexy ballad you’ll be singing will be “She Keeps Mine in Her Purse”.